Stoic
A word I have been pondering lately. Stoic. Someone I know used this word to describe me recently. I am positive that this person did not mean it to be a nice description. I spent the next day or so feeling pretty bad about myself thinking that this meant that I was completely unfeeling or heartless. So I decided to look up what this word actually meant and it wasn't what I thought .
Stoic: A person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.
Synonyms: long suffering, uncomplaining, patient, accepting, tolerant, resigned, philosophical.
So I've decided to take it as a compliment! I've also taken a look at people that I've known in my life who are "stoic", in my opinion, and realized that I'm in good company!
There is a sister in our ward that I think most would consider stoic. She is abrupt, doesn't laugh or smile much, and comes across a bit harsh at times. I had the privilege of being her visiting teacher for a LONG time (like 8 years) and I learned that she is probably the most selfless, giving, caring person I have ever met. She has endured great hardship in her life and you would never know it from talking with her. She serves others constantly, she is very giving, she is super knowledgeable when it comes to gospel topics, she is very talented in music, and cooking, and self reliance. She has had 2 of her children pass away at young ages. When her son passed away (pretty recently like in the last 2 years) she took some time and went to visit his family and help out with arrangements and it took several sisters in our ward to do all the service she was used to doing daily while she was gone. I don't think most of us knew how much she did for others until she wasn't there to do it if even for a short time.
Now I really hope I don't come across as abrupt or that anyone can say that I don't smile very often because I think I'm pretty happy most of the time. However when I'm dealing with great sorrow, or pain, or heartache I do, even if unintentionally, sometimes come across like it doesn't bother me much. I'm sure there are some people who are around me quite often who don't know how bad our last 10 months have been. I'm sure there are some that think that things are all fine and dandy now. I'm sure there are some that think I didn't care what was happening to my husband and family this summer, but man are they wrong. Like a big fat W-R-O-N-G.
I'll say that most of my stoicness (see how I just made up a word...) was for the benefit of my children. They didn't need to see a blubbering mess of a mother all the time to make them stress and worry, they did enough of that on their own. It was also for the benefit of my family who had to resist the urge to fly out here on a moments notice at the first sign that I was losing it. So I sucked it up and lost it when it was convenient for me to let it out and not scare the crap out of those around me.
Let me also say that I know that I was not the sick one in our situation and cannot even fathom the depth of pain or awfulness that my hubby went through. So for anyone reading that thinks that this blog is pretty one sided, let me just say it is. It's my blog and I write it and my husband does not and doesn't want to, so you get my opinion and mine alone.
Stoic: A person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.
Synonyms: long suffering, uncomplaining, patient, accepting, tolerant, resigned, philosophical.
So I've decided to take it as a compliment! I've also taken a look at people that I've known in my life who are "stoic", in my opinion, and realized that I'm in good company!
There is a sister in our ward that I think most would consider stoic. She is abrupt, doesn't laugh or smile much, and comes across a bit harsh at times. I had the privilege of being her visiting teacher for a LONG time (like 8 years) and I learned that she is probably the most selfless, giving, caring person I have ever met. She has endured great hardship in her life and you would never know it from talking with her. She serves others constantly, she is very giving, she is super knowledgeable when it comes to gospel topics, she is very talented in music, and cooking, and self reliance. She has had 2 of her children pass away at young ages. When her son passed away (pretty recently like in the last 2 years) she took some time and went to visit his family and help out with arrangements and it took several sisters in our ward to do all the service she was used to doing daily while she was gone. I don't think most of us knew how much she did for others until she wasn't there to do it if even for a short time.
Now I really hope I don't come across as abrupt or that anyone can say that I don't smile very often because I think I'm pretty happy most of the time. However when I'm dealing with great sorrow, or pain, or heartache I do, even if unintentionally, sometimes come across like it doesn't bother me much. I'm sure there are some people who are around me quite often who don't know how bad our last 10 months have been. I'm sure there are some that think that things are all fine and dandy now. I'm sure there are some that think I didn't care what was happening to my husband and family this summer, but man are they wrong. Like a big fat W-R-O-N-G.
I'll say that most of my stoicness (see how I just made up a word...) was for the benefit of my children. They didn't need to see a blubbering mess of a mother all the time to make them stress and worry, they did enough of that on their own. It was also for the benefit of my family who had to resist the urge to fly out here on a moments notice at the first sign that I was losing it. So I sucked it up and lost it when it was convenient for me to let it out and not scare the crap out of those around me.
Let me also say that I know that I was not the sick one in our situation and cannot even fathom the depth of pain or awfulness that my hubby went through. So for anyone reading that thinks that this blog is pretty one sided, let me just say it is. It's my blog and I write it and my husband does not and doesn't want to, so you get my opinion and mine alone.
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