I am THAT mom...
Before you have kids you are the perfect parent. You are, you haven't made any mistakes, you can sit back and judge others for their parenting choices with absolutely no immediate consequences, you can sleep late, and enjoy shopping, you can even eat a whole meal all alone NO SHARING! Now that I have children all those things I criticized other parents for doing have all come true and I have done...ALL OF THEM (well not abuse, I am not a child abuser)!
I open random boxes of crackers/cookies/fruit snacks before paying for them just to keep my kid quiet (I always pay for them afterward, shoplifting is high on my "not to do" list!).
I have taken toys off the shelf and let my kids play with them while I shop, then put them on random store shelves before we check out.
I have resorted to letting my 3 year old pee in the flower pots on the deck on a regular basis, anything to get him to potty train. Although I guess he won't be potty trained he'll be flower pot trained but whatev' it's not my floor! Pretty sure the family next door with 2 little girls is probably traumatized by now.
I let my 1 year old stand up in the basket part of the cart at the store. I tell off/give dirty looks too/ignore anyone who makes comments/tells them to sit down. He can get out of the little seat belt in the front (which is only about 10% of the time functioning anyway).
I put my child BAREFOOT on the floor at Hobby Lobby to let him walk beside the cart so he would quit screaming the other day. BAREFOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just know he's gonna get hookworm.
I make up the answers when doctors ask me "How high was his fever?"....ummmmm....102, because anything under that they don't take you seriously, and I make it up because I can NEVER find the one working thermometer in our house. I just know if I tell them I didn't take it they are going to call DCSF, I just know it! I also lie when they ask me how long the symptoms have been happening, because frankly anything under 2 days they send you on your merry way, even though I have 5 kids and can tell by their smell how sick they are.
I am that mom that tells her toddler to pee on a tree at the park because the bathrooms are like 1/4 of a mile away...ok maybe not a whole 1/4 but REALLY far!
The other day at the Mart I bought two compact hair brushes because the boys had become attached to them in the store and I didn't want a scene when we were leaving. They think they are phones. Luckily they only cost .88 each.
I do not clean the floor after my kids have eaten at a restaurant. Sometimes it's REALLY bad, we just leave a good tip.
My kids eat off the floor occasionally, I can't stop them, they are too fast...and sometimes I think, "those chicken nuggets that I JUST bought were expensive pick them back up!"
I sometimes have no idea how long it's been since my middle children have bathed. I figure if they bathe for church that's good enough for me.
Yes, I am THAT mom! The one that makes single/childless people cringe in stores/restaurants/public places. I let #4 and #5 do things #1 would never have been allowed to do. She's probably royally screwed up because of it, and likewise #4 and #5 will be equally screwed up because of it. Bonus #2 and #3 will be just fine!
I open random boxes of crackers/cookies/fruit snacks before paying for them just to keep my kid quiet (I always pay for them afterward, shoplifting is high on my "not to do" list!).
I have taken toys off the shelf and let my kids play with them while I shop, then put them on random store shelves before we check out.
I have resorted to letting my 3 year old pee in the flower pots on the deck on a regular basis, anything to get him to potty train. Although I guess he won't be potty trained he'll be flower pot trained but whatev' it's not my floor! Pretty sure the family next door with 2 little girls is probably traumatized by now.
I let my 1 year old stand up in the basket part of the cart at the store. I tell off/give dirty looks too/ignore anyone who makes comments/tells them to sit down. He can get out of the little seat belt in the front (which is only about 10% of the time functioning anyway).
I put my child BAREFOOT on the floor at Hobby Lobby to let him walk beside the cart so he would quit screaming the other day. BAREFOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just know he's gonna get hookworm.
I make up the answers when doctors ask me "How high was his fever?"....ummmmm....102, because anything under that they don't take you seriously, and I make it up because I can NEVER find the one working thermometer in our house. I just know if I tell them I didn't take it they are going to call DCSF, I just know it! I also lie when they ask me how long the symptoms have been happening, because frankly anything under 2 days they send you on your merry way, even though I have 5 kids and can tell by their smell how sick they are.
I am that mom that tells her toddler to pee on a tree at the park because the bathrooms are like 1/4 of a mile away...ok maybe not a whole 1/4 but REALLY far!
The other day at the Mart I bought two compact hair brushes because the boys had become attached to them in the store and I didn't want a scene when we were leaving. They think they are phones. Luckily they only cost .88 each.
I do not clean the floor after my kids have eaten at a restaurant. Sometimes it's REALLY bad, we just leave a good tip.
My kids eat off the floor occasionally, I can't stop them, they are too fast...and sometimes I think, "those chicken nuggets that I JUST bought were expensive pick them back up!"
I sometimes have no idea how long it's been since my middle children have bathed. I figure if they bathe for church that's good enough for me.
Yes, I am THAT mom! The one that makes single/childless people cringe in stores/restaurants/public places. I let #4 and #5 do things #1 would never have been allowed to do. She's probably royally screwed up because of it, and likewise #4 and #5 will be equally screwed up because of it. Bonus #2 and #3 will be just fine!
Comments
Your kids are awesome, they love each other as I witnessed the other day, so you are doing just fine.