Who Am I?

Sometimes I'm just living my life doing my mom-thang and someone makes a comment, or tells me about an article, or posts something on Facebook and it creates this need in me to ponder and write.  Most of the time it's a quick flippant comment and the person who says it doesn't give it a second thought.  However I keep thinking and thinking about it until an entire blog entry just forms in my little brain!

Soooo today such a comment made me think about me, I know big shocker right?  A friend and I were talking about our cars and how generic our vehicles are that it's hard to find them in a parking lot.  I told her that is why I always have a decal on the back so I can find my generic gray SUV, or my sand colored mini-van among the hundreds of other similarly colored vehicles in the lot.  Then she said it..."I would do that too except I have no idea who I am.  I can't even commit to a ring tone on my phone because I feel like it says a lot about you."  Those simple words have haunted me all day!  Do I know who I am?  Does my Pepper Potts decal on the back of my van say what I want people to know about me?  Is this just digging too deep into a bumper sticker?  Why in the world does my friend NOT know who she is?

I think this self reflection is a side effect of turning the big 4-0 this summer.  Yep, tomorrow I will be 40 and honestly 40 is freaking me out.  Not that I feel old, or regret my life, or wanna buy a sports car and drive the country in a bikini or anything just little things.  I'm not a spontaneous fun kind of person and I'd like to be, I was this (imagine my thumb and forefinger super close together and almost touching) close to getting a tattoo while I was in California.  The thing that kept me from biting the bullet and not doing it was the fact that I couldn't commit on a design (bumper stickers are removable and therefore WAY easier to decide on), and they are expensive...yes, the cheapskate in me won over on this one.  I also was pretty close to coloring my hair some crazy not-found-in-nature color of red, also a belly piercing would have been on the short list except from past abdominal surgery my belly button isn't exactly where it should be anymore (I know TMI).

Anyhoo, this comment by my friend about not knowing who she is has made me start making a mental list of who I am.  So here is my list of me, for anyone who cares...WARNING...it will be long, it may be a little funny, it will be LONG...

1. I love eating.  I am a foodie.  I will never be thin because I LOVE good food.  I also hate exercise.  I need to find a good balance.
2. My body doesn't bother me.  I've learned to love my "Rains Nose", I have HUGE feet and hands, my body has given birth to 6 HUGE  babies and it shows, but I'm pretty comfy in my own skin.
3. I am not going to dye the gray.  I know I said something earlier about RED, but honestly I like my gray hair.  I think I'm probably the only woman I know who can say that.
4. I hate folding laundry that is cold.  Straight out of the dryer and still warm makes me happy.
5. I like action movies just about as much as I like comedies, and romance.  Basically I just like good movies.
6. I love reading.  I don't do it very often because well...6 kids...but I love a good mystery novel.
7. My favorite color is purple.  Not like dark purple, more lavender.
8. My favorite night of the week is date night.  I love dating my husband.  I am grateful that he also makes date night a priority in our marriage.
9. Crafting is my favorite hobby.  I love to create and give handmade things away as gifts.  I also love selling my creations.
10. I love herbal tea and drinking it from a lovely mug/cup/bottle
11. I have anxiety.  Like major.  I have had it since I was young and it's manifesting itself in rare form lately.  I am managing it and trying my darndest to keep it in check.
12. Summer makes me sad.  I do not like hot weather at all...humid/dry/wet/whatever I don't like it!
13. I am a devoted mom and wife.  Seriously.  Sometimes I do feel overwhelmed and out of sorts but I know at the end of the day I do all I do for them.  Hands down would do anything for my family.  
14. When I was young I had a dream of being a photographer but alas I have learned that I do not have that "eye" for the beautiful needed to be one.
15. I have a strong testimony of Jesus Christ.  Without that testimony I would have crashed and burned last summer and our family would be torn apart.  We had so many forces working against us and our faith kept us strong.
16. My favorite flower is the African Violet.  I can't seem to grow the darn things here in Illinois though.
17. I am not a good house keeper.  Mostly if you come by unannounced you will find crumbs on my floor, laundry piled high, dirty dishes, and possibly a wet diaper still on the ottoman.  Just putting it out there.  I will however still welcome you in and I've taken to the practice of NOT apologizing for it.  We live here we are happy and that's all that matters.
18. I like living in Illinois.  I know that sounds crazy to a lot of people.  I really like my ward, I love the kids schools, and really the weather is tolerable when you have a home to keep the elements away.   
19. I LOVE animals.  If it wasn't for my hubby we would have a house full of kitties and dogs.  It's probably a good thing I have him to curb my need for pets!
20. I am not too easily offended.  Honestly most people are just trying to live life and don't mean to offend.  Now if you attack/critique my parenting (unkindly or ignorantly) or my marriage you will get the full force of my wrath.  You have been warned.  

I think that's it for now.  Honestly my back is getting sore from sitting here and I really need to get up and be productive.  So happy birthday to me tomorrow.  My family took me on a lovely get away to Nauvoo last weekend and it was AWESOME!  We had so much fun.  I am truly lucky to have such a great husband that stand beside me when I'm nuts and when I'm hurting and when I'm struggling to make sense of the world.

So here's to 40 and Fabulous!  (too corny?)  40 and Fit (bahhahahah!)  40 and Feisty...I like that one!