WARNING: Soap Box Ahead!
I'm part of this group on Facebook it's called Finding Joy Mom's. Basically the admin posts uplifting posts about her thoughts on Motherhood and Womanhood and other people post their joy for the day/week/minute. Sometimes they are so sweet and cute and other times women have a hard time finding that joy in the moment and need a pick-me-up. I have been on this site since right before Mother's Day of this year (so several months) and I have never once seen a negative post. Now there are women who are feeling down on themselves and post that but what I mean is I have NEVER seen anyone judge anyone else for anything that is said on that site. It's the most positive facebook page in the universe!
Sadly this is not the case on my own news feed. I am shocked at the hate that is spewed towards others. Sometimes it's out and out hate and other times it's hate disguised as righteous indignation. You know it...it's looks like this:
I cannot believe so-and-so does such-and-such. OR I would NEVER let my kid do THAT! OR MAYBE I can't believe she walked out of the house like that. etc...
Now I'm certainly not saying that I haven't had my moments of righteous indignation. Who has not been at the grocery store and seen someone wearing something totally outrageous and thought "Oh man they should have taken another look in the mirror before leaving the house"? I'm mostly here today to talk about mommy-shaming. It happens ALL THE TIME! I cannot tell you the times when I have seen someone either in real life or Facebook ( Facebook is not real life...shocker I know) shame another mom for well, basically parenting differently from them. And I'm SICK of it. I mean if we witness a mom beating her child or abusing them in any way then stepping in would be a great idea, but just your normal every day run of the mill temper tantrum in the store, or a mom using a raised voice out of pure and utter frustration, or a child doing something completely crazy and the mom not having her 100% attention on the child 100% of the time, those are the instances I'm talking about. If you are about to judge a mom STOP IT!
Over the last few days I have been thinking back on my years of mothering and have come up with a list of some CrAzY stories. Yes, these all happened to me, yes my children survived, and yes I 'm a good mom.
Child #1- hid from us when she was 3. She was missing for about 15 minutes (at my inlaws house). I was frantic and crying and searching for her every where. She was in my mother in laws closet hiding behind the dresses. Yes, she stayed quiet for 15 whole minutes. Yes, she thought it was hysterical.
Child #1- When she was 2 could climb onto anything. Found her on top of the fridge one day...no joke.
Child #1- ran through a 5 acre park buck naked screaming "I'm a free spirit".
Child #1- Told the Doctor once that she hadn't eaten in 3 days and we smoked cigarettes at our house.
Child #1- would go out in the back yard and sing the country song "She only smokes when she drinks" at the top of her lungs much to the amusement of my neighbors.
Child #1- We went to a wedding reception and after went outside and there were thousands of tiny frogs about the size of a dime all over the ground. They were so cute and we showed them to her and she proceeded to step on about 3 of them before we scooped her up and ran to the car!
Child #2- hid from me at a movie theater for 5 minutes. Panic had set in and she was laughing when I found her.
Child #2- Bit many other children when she was little. Including her 2 month old brother.
Child #2- Got stung by a bee because she was "petting it".
Child #2- Had a pet snail named Ricardo.
Child #3- Got into the Giraffe and Ostrich enclosure at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago...IN THE ENCLOSURE.
Child #3- Cut his nostril almost completely off with a razor blade knife that was put away in a tool box far from children's reach.
Child #3- wore a Spiderman costume for an entire year.
Child #3 has licked poop...don't ask.
Child #4...oh Child #4... Hung out a second story window in a foreign country.
Child #4- Hung out on the kitchen table for most of the day when he was 1.
Child #4- threw the cat off the deck.
Child #4- killed a baby rat because it was biting him.
Child #4- sounds like a serial killer but he's not.
Child #4- swallowed a penny just because.
Child #4- has had poison control called on him 3 times.
Child #4 has drank his own pee.
Child #4- has tried to shoplift a KitKat when he was 3
Child #5- When he was potty training would poop off the deck in our backyard. I had to scoop his poop like a dog.
Child #5- Whines uncontrollably. Like seriously all. the. time.
child #5- when shown a beautiful butterfly lying on the sidewalk, walked over and smooshed it with his boot.
Child #5- doesn't like to wear jeans so he's in sweats almost all year round.
Child #5- Is a picky eater. He doesn't like meat because it gets caught in his teeth.
Child #6- he's only 1 and I have stories already...He climbs on EVERYTHING
Child #6- Walked at 8 months.
Child #6- bites when he nurses
Child #6- Is mean to the dog
Child #6- is mean to other kids at church
This is really a short list. I have so many stories I could fill a book, no doubt. My kids have thrown tantrums in the stores (complete with laying on the floor wallowing and refusing to move), they have accused me of kidnapping them when I leave said store and they know they are in trouble. I have had to throw away many an outfit due to blow out diapers. My kids lick the salt shakers at restaurants, they have also eaten gum from under the tables at restaurants. I have opened boxes of crackers, fruit snacks, granola bars BEFORE paying for them in stores to keep my boys quiet (I always paid at the end). I have walked around the store with baby puke down my back and on my should and been completely unaware. I've gone to the store in my pj's because I'd been there 3 times that day and STILL forgot the diapers and it's 9pm and I'm exhausted and the thought of putting my bra back on makes me gag. I've gone out and pulled bikes in the garage from the driveway in my underwear because it was midnight and the door wouldn't close and I was too tired to go back up the stairs for clothes. I put the pacifier back in the baby's mouth without sterilizing it when it falls on the floor. I NEVER sterilized a bottle...(and they all lived). All my kids have eaten dirt and cat food. One even liked to eat sticks of butter from the fridge when she thought she could get away with it. One even ate 2 raw pieces of bacon before I caught him. All my kids have gotten out of their car seats while driving. One tried to open the sliding door while I was doing 45 on a highway.
Man this list is cathartic...I feel so much better getting this all out in the open! If anyone reads my blog I'd love to hear your crazy stories. No judgement here...
So you see we all do crazy, stupid, gross, things for and because of our kids. We are all just trying to be good moms and deal with the kids that God gave us. I firmly believe that some people were lucky enough to get quiet obedient spirits, while others got those spirits that are challenging and spunky. I got 6 spunky spirits...and I'm soooo glad!
Sadly this is not the case on my own news feed. I am shocked at the hate that is spewed towards others. Sometimes it's out and out hate and other times it's hate disguised as righteous indignation. You know it...it's looks like this:
I cannot believe so-and-so does such-and-such. OR I would NEVER let my kid do THAT! OR MAYBE I can't believe she walked out of the house like that. etc...
Now I'm certainly not saying that I haven't had my moments of righteous indignation. Who has not been at the grocery store and seen someone wearing something totally outrageous and thought "Oh man they should have taken another look in the mirror before leaving the house"? I'm mostly here today to talk about mommy-shaming. It happens ALL THE TIME! I cannot tell you the times when I have seen someone either in real life or Facebook ( Facebook is not real life...shocker I know) shame another mom for well, basically parenting differently from them. And I'm SICK of it. I mean if we witness a mom beating her child or abusing them in any way then stepping in would be a great idea, but just your normal every day run of the mill temper tantrum in the store, or a mom using a raised voice out of pure and utter frustration, or a child doing something completely crazy and the mom not having her 100% attention on the child 100% of the time, those are the instances I'm talking about. If you are about to judge a mom STOP IT!
Over the last few days I have been thinking back on my years of mothering and have come up with a list of some CrAzY stories. Yes, these all happened to me, yes my children survived, and yes I 'm a good mom.
Child #1- hid from us when she was 3. She was missing for about 15 minutes (at my inlaws house). I was frantic and crying and searching for her every where. She was in my mother in laws closet hiding behind the dresses. Yes, she stayed quiet for 15 whole minutes. Yes, she thought it was hysterical.
Child #1- When she was 2 could climb onto anything. Found her on top of the fridge one day...no joke.
Child #1- ran through a 5 acre park buck naked screaming "I'm a free spirit".
Child #1- Told the Doctor once that she hadn't eaten in 3 days and we smoked cigarettes at our house.
Child #1- would go out in the back yard and sing the country song "She only smokes when she drinks" at the top of her lungs much to the amusement of my neighbors.
Child #1- We went to a wedding reception and after went outside and there were thousands of tiny frogs about the size of a dime all over the ground. They were so cute and we showed them to her and she proceeded to step on about 3 of them before we scooped her up and ran to the car!
Child #2- hid from me at a movie theater for 5 minutes. Panic had set in and she was laughing when I found her.
Child #2- Bit many other children when she was little. Including her 2 month old brother.
Child #2- Got stung by a bee because she was "petting it".
Child #2- Had a pet snail named Ricardo.
Child #3- Got into the Giraffe and Ostrich enclosure at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago...IN THE ENCLOSURE.
Child #3- Cut his nostril almost completely off with a razor blade knife that was put away in a tool box far from children's reach.
Child #3- wore a Spiderman costume for an entire year.
Child #3 has licked poop...don't ask.
Child #4...oh Child #4... Hung out a second story window in a foreign country.
Child #4- Hung out on the kitchen table for most of the day when he was 1.
Child #4- threw the cat off the deck.
Child #4- killed a baby rat because it was biting him.
Child #4- sounds like a serial killer but he's not.
Child #4- swallowed a penny just because.
Child #4- has had poison control called on him 3 times.
Child #4 has drank his own pee.
Child #4- has tried to shoplift a KitKat when he was 3
Child #5- When he was potty training would poop off the deck in our backyard. I had to scoop his poop like a dog.
Child #5- Whines uncontrollably. Like seriously all. the. time.
child #5- when shown a beautiful butterfly lying on the sidewalk, walked over and smooshed it with his boot.
Child #5- doesn't like to wear jeans so he's in sweats almost all year round.
Child #5- Is a picky eater. He doesn't like meat because it gets caught in his teeth.
Child #6- he's only 1 and I have stories already...He climbs on EVERYTHING
Child #6- Walked at 8 months.
Child #6- bites when he nurses
Child #6- Is mean to the dog
Child #6- is mean to other kids at church
This is really a short list. I have so many stories I could fill a book, no doubt. My kids have thrown tantrums in the stores (complete with laying on the floor wallowing and refusing to move), they have accused me of kidnapping them when I leave said store and they know they are in trouble. I have had to throw away many an outfit due to blow out diapers. My kids lick the salt shakers at restaurants, they have also eaten gum from under the tables at restaurants. I have opened boxes of crackers, fruit snacks, granola bars BEFORE paying for them in stores to keep my boys quiet (I always paid at the end). I have walked around the store with baby puke down my back and on my should and been completely unaware. I've gone to the store in my pj's because I'd been there 3 times that day and STILL forgot the diapers and it's 9pm and I'm exhausted and the thought of putting my bra back on makes me gag. I've gone out and pulled bikes in the garage from the driveway in my underwear because it was midnight and the door wouldn't close and I was too tired to go back up the stairs for clothes. I put the pacifier back in the baby's mouth without sterilizing it when it falls on the floor. I NEVER sterilized a bottle...(and they all lived). All my kids have eaten dirt and cat food. One even liked to eat sticks of butter from the fridge when she thought she could get away with it. One even ate 2 raw pieces of bacon before I caught him. All my kids have gotten out of their car seats while driving. One tried to open the sliding door while I was doing 45 on a highway.
Man this list is cathartic...I feel so much better getting this all out in the open! If anyone reads my blog I'd love to hear your crazy stories. No judgement here...
So you see we all do crazy, stupid, gross, things for and because of our kids. We are all just trying to be good moms and deal with the kids that God gave us. I firmly believe that some people were lucky enough to get quiet obedient spirits, while others got those spirits that are challenging and spunky. I got 6 spunky spirits...and I'm soooo glad!
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